so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
