Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
then he tried to convert me to islam
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
