We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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