Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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