I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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