But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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