Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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