Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
