Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
