I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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