Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
