what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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