That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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