so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
