Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
