whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
