if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
