did you get engaged???
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
