Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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