Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
