i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just found puke in my bra..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
