He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
two words: eviction party
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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