also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
