How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
