honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
