But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
