I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
