awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
how does that bad decision feel?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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