I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
