she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Someone signed my nipple.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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