I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize