Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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