but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
