I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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