I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
