STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
