they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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