So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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