I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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