haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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