you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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