Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
