is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
