She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize