you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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