Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
