So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
