my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
