I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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