I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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