yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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