Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
