his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Randomize
