Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
