I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
