hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
