i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
how does that bad decision feel?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
