I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize