Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
