her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She bit a glass in half.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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