Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
