now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
