You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
