I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
