How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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