im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
