I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We have so much sex to catch up on
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
