I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
