the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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