i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
