I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
